So Much To Me
by Mizuki Harana
Summary: Prussia died in a fire, while Germany was severely injured. Hong Kong and Italy, who loves Germany as well as Prussia, are having to deal with the pain of losing a man they love. GerIta, PruHong, and PruIta oneshot.


A/N: Hello~ This has PruIta, GerIta, and PruHong in it. It's basically stating Italy's side of what happened after an RP. I wrote this after Hong Kong wrote her side. If you search for this fanfic on deviantart, (it's under the same title and username) you can find the link to hers and I HIGHLY suggest reading it along with this so that it makes more sense. Also, to clear this up... Italy is in love with Prussia, but Italy is dating Germany and Prussia is dating Hong Kong. Both Prussia and Italy love each other.

Thank you! -Feli

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><p><em>'I-It's all over now... Right...?'<em>

Ludwig's house caught fire only about an hour ago, in the basement. _'Of all places it just had to be the basement...' _Feliciano thought, leaning his head against the wall. Only he and Xiang had escaped without damage. _'Why did it have to be the two I love who end up like this...' _Sitting on the porch of the house, Feliciano was contemplating on how to approach the only other man involved that was still conscious.

Xiang. His friend, his enemy... Feliciano wasn't even sure what to call him. All he knew was that Xiang was probably in as much pain as him right now. He sighed and watched the Asian as he absent-mindedness spoke to a fireman while holding some type of necklace in his fingers. The fireman backed away slightly, leaving the other man standing alone.

_'… I guess I should now...' _Feliciano rose from the wooden floor of the porch, sighing sadly as he did so. He walked, ever so slowly, toward his... "friend".

"... Hong Kong...?" Feliciano whispered slowly, slightly afraid to speak to Xiang at the moment. Xiang looked up from his necklace.

"Nihao, Italia..." His voice was filled with despair, even Feliciano could hear.

_'How am I going to do this...?' _Feliciano's goal was to keep everyone happy. Comforting everyone and fixing their lives so that they could be happy, while he innocently smiled to hide the pain in his heart. He had accomplished this up until now. He couldn't stand by and watch someone else be in pain, but how could he possibly fix this? _'I can't fix a death...'_

Xiang's boyfriend, the man Feliciano had fallen madly in love with, Ludwig's brother, the self-proclaimed "Awesome" one... Gilbert. He had died in that basement. He tried to save his diaries. _'Your life is more important than some books, Prussia...' _

"How's Germany...?" Xiang asked, breaking Feliciano from his thoughts.

"... He's..." Feliciano couldn't finish, as he was starting to fall into his thoughts of how Ludwig ended up.

Ludwig, Feliciano's boyfriend, had survived the fire, or so he was told. Ludwig had ran into the dark smoke after Gilbert, trying to pull him out of the room before it was too late. All that accomplished was Ludwig coming out with burns covering his whole body. _'… How is Ludwig going to react to Gilbert's death...?' _Ludwig fell unconscious before Gilbert had died, he hasn't woken up since.

"That bad, huh...?" Feliciano tried to hold back his tears. _'… What if Ludwig ends up like...' _Feliciano sniffled, fighting his tears more than ever. _'Don't cry... Not now, hold it in for a little longer...'_

Out of nowhere, Feliciano felt a pair of arms wrap around him. He froze. Silence ominously filled the air. _'Don't cry, don't cry...'_

Feliciano felt himself break even more, but what else could he possibly break? His whole word had been shattered long ago. His heart, mind, spirit, and soul had been smashed into millions of pieces, but, now, maybe the pieces were breaking into nothing. Those pieces, once building up a human named Feliciano Vargas, were disappearing completely, until he was nothing more than an empty shell, a hollow body with nothing inside.

He couldn't hold it back anymore. He let out a loud cry, breaking the silence as he burst into tears. What else could he do? His sobs raged through the air, causing everyone around to fall into a complete silence. All he could do is cry at the thoughts pouring through his mind.

Lost love, death, things fading, things breaking, everything falling... He'd been through it all before. He'd lost so much in his life. He lost Gilbert to Xiang. Feliciano was so in love with the Prussian, but Gilbert decided to be with the Asian, leaving Feliciano with Ludwig. Feliciano has had mixed feelings towards Xiang ever since. He never thought he would show his true feelings this much in front of Xiang. He had no idea how to feel about the other man. He'd given up everything he wanted just so that Xiang could be with Gilbert, and Feliciano did it to make them both, and Ludwig, happy.

_'And they were happy, everyone was happy then, right?' _His thoughts froze for a moment. Silence filled his mind, contrasting greatly with the loud cries coming from his own mouth. Pure, absolute silence inside the mind of someone who was breaking down into deafening sobs? It seemed almost impossible. _'Everyone was happy... except me... And now... it's so much worse now than ever... I can't make others happy if I am so unhappy like this...' _He could hear Xiang crying. _'… This isn't the time for me to be doing this...'_

Feliciano and Xiang broke their hug, both of them covered in each others' tears. "Go back with Germany, and make sure he's alright, Italia..." Xiang sighed.

"What about you...?" Feliciano was reluctant to leave his... friend in this state.

"Remember what you said... You've got Germany, I've got no one else..." Xiang whispered through a small smile. Feliciano stiffened instantly. He used that line to convince Xiang that it was alright if he went after Gilbert. Feliciano never once thought that this line would come back and hurt him.

"... Maybe you should go with your family...?" Feliciano replied, hoping Xiang would have someone to be with right now.  
>"They're all busy... but I'm alright. Not a big deal, really. You know I'm used to being on my own..."<p>

_'I'm alright...'_ Feliciano had used that lie too many times. There was no way Xiang was actually "alright" right now. "B-But, H-"

"Germany needs you, and I need a moment alone..." Xiang cut him off. Feliciano sighed, knowing that it was probably better to leave him alone for now. He nodded, leaving Xiang behind to be with Ludwig.

Ludwig looked as if he were in so much pain. Feliciano couldn't see the look of serenity on his face through the bandages, but he knew Ludwig wouldn't look this way if he were awake. His injuries were severe. Feliciano grabbed his hand softly. "You'll be alright, Doitsu... Your pain will disappear soon enough..." He whispered, hoping Ludwig could hear. Feliciano kneeled next to the German, tears rolling from his eyes. He kissed Ludwig's cheek, which was one of the one places on his head that was not bandaged. "Wake up soon... for me, Doitsu...?" He pressed his lips to Ludwig's cheek once more.

"E-excuse me..." Feliciano looked up to see a tall, German man from the hospital standing behind him. "S-sir... We need to get him to the hospital to treat him... We can give you a call once he is in a stable condition, again..." The man spoke calmly. Feliciano got to his feet, eying the German. He took the pen from the man and wrote his cell phone number on a paper. "We'll call you as soon as he is better... alright?" The man asked.

"... Promise me he'll survive...?"

The man stiffened. He hesitated in his response. "... O-of course he'll survive... He'll just need some time to recover..."

_'Liar.' _Feliciano sighed. "Alright..." The man nodded, proceeding to help the others put Ludwig in the ambulance.

Feliciano sighed, taking one last look at Ludwig before the doors to the ambulance closed. The vehicle pulled out of the driveway and disappeared down the street. He stared at the driveway, not making any movements. He felt the tears building more in his eyes. He instantly sprinted around to the back of the house, running into the field of grass.

He slowed his sprinting and fell onto his knees into the tall grass. He was only on his knees, and the grass was able to reach over his head. He broke out into sobs once more."I can't... take it anymore..." He whispered through his whimpering.

"Please come back, Prussia..." Tears rolled out more than ever before. Gilbert's last words to Feliciano raced through his mind:

_'I really love you... but I wanted you to be happy with Ludwig...'_

Feliciano punched the ground as hard as he possibly could. "Why did it have to be you of every person in the world...?" He cried more, punching the ground again. He let all of his anger and sorrow flow out through his tears and punches. "Prussia, come back...!" His fist connected with the ground once more.

"Dammit! You didn't deserve to die! It wasn't your time yet!" He repeatedly slammed his fist into the ground, ignoring the sharp pain of the tightly-packed, hard dirt ramming into his hand. Blood mixed with the dirt, and he didn't care. He slowed himself, allowing his arm to stop moving, his tears to slow, and his sobbing to fall into silence. He held his right hand, looking at where he had been punching. He paused before brushing the dirt off of his hand.

"... Hey... I'm gonna need you here... I want to live by your side forever..." Feliciano covered his face with his hand. "... I feel so complete when you're with me... I'll wait for you forever..." He paused once more before looking up at the darkened sky.

"Forever, my love... I'll wait until you come home... I can wait through everything... I already have been..." He took a deep breath. "You mean so much to me... If you can hear me from up in Heaven... Tell me this..." His voice wavered as he whispered these last few words.

"... Will you wait for me, mio amore...?"


End file.
